I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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