Well apparently he's into motor boating.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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