im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
