I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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