Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
