she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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