i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
