You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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