Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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