She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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