Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
