btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
