Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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