She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
