Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
