Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
