Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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