is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
