i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
