I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
