Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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