The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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