The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
