Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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