my phone needs a breathalizer
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
