Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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