just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
