What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize