Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
