But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
