Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize