I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize