watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
