Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
