No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
