im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize