I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
