It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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