it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Text me some of your sweat
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
