i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
