My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
