It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
