Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
