I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
