i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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