This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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