WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
