they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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