David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
