It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
