how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
