its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
