I'm jealous of your bromance
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
