Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
