SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
