I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
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