i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
