So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
