Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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