So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize