shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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