he wants to bone in the snuggie
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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