Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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