i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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