I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm at about main and main street
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
