nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
