I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
