Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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