You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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