8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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