his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
