What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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