Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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