dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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