i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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