i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
