put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
