i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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