I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
