Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
