dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
